There was a great article over at the Brazen Careerist where Penelope Trunk breaks down some of the most annoying goings on of a typical workplace that most people wouldn’t miss. I think that she makes some valid points about the uselessness of a candy machine, the giant office party, and money solicitations at work. I think that people should be held accountable for their reluctance or inability to keep up with current work and office trends. Some of the things we find annoying in today’s office are remnants of the office of yesterday and should be put out to pasture and beaten down like the spiteful fax machine in Office Space.

Voicemail is a useless dinosaur, and people who insist on using it improperly should be held accountable. If you MUST leave a voicemail message, don’t just ask me to call you back or stop by. Give me an idea of what you want to discuss or it is unlikely that you’ll get anything back but an email. For that matter, if you want to talk to me, come by personally or propose a meeting time. Phone tag is annoying enough in my personal life so why do I need it to add to my blood pressure at work? In the time it took you to sit through my ancient voicemail message, wait for the beep, and babble incoherently for 45 seconds, you could’ve sent me a two sentence email with more substance. The point is this: If I work with you on a semi-regular basis, you shouldn’t have to leave me voicemail. The only exceptions should be to distribute important messages to employees in an emergency. I’m fine with receiving that kind of voicemail, but don’t leave a message for me asking me to come to the break room for the monthly birthday cake.

With the help of my good compadre Jay (the jay half of stephnjay) I realized what ETS means. The name of my department stands for:

Eat Talk & Schmooze!

I work in a department full of YENTAS! I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING!

So.. I’ve been here (at work since 8:30am) and I have managed to maintain some level of sanity. I’ve managed to learn a little more php and pretty soon I might be able to call myself a web c0der. Or maybe not. I’m also working a little bit on the old pagey page. I think it might turn out to be an okay webfront for me. The eggcitement.

Anyway, people are dumb. Since when did coming to work smelling like beer become excusable? The American work ethic just amazes me. I’ve never been so glad to quasi-be-Jamaican. *sigh*

I am going to abduct Danny. He looks like Christopher Robin and that’s wondermous. I proposed marriage. He said yes. We’re going to pick out the Chyna pattern and register at Target (Tar-zhay). It’s gonna be a small wedding though. Benjy can be a flower child.

Ok you know I’ve been in one place too long when I just babble into a textbox. *sigh* Bye or something.

It’s so weird to all of a sudden have nothing to do but work. I am delighted that I don’t have to worry about school right now but mother of christ I don’t know what to do with myself?! I think I am going to have to find some new hobbies or I’ll go insane.

It’s over, I’m done. Now we do the Mepian dance of joy.

One final left (in Aural Rehab). I just want to make it end. And why is it that when you try to edit a webpage in nutsack composter it changes all your links to some BS relative nonsense? BLARGH! That edit should’ve taken me 2 seconds not 20 mins. Thank you again, Nutscrape.