Help End These Workplace Practices!

There was a great article over at the Brazen Careerist where Penelope Trunk breaks down some of the most annoying goings on of a typical workplace that most people wouldn’t miss. I think that she makes some valid points about the uselessness of a candy machine, the giant office party, and money solicitations at work. I think that people should be held accountable for their reluctance or inability to keep up with current work and office trends. Some of the things we find annoying in today’s office are remnants of the office of yesterday and should be put out to pasture and beaten down like the spiteful fax machine in Office Space.

Voicemail is a useless dinosaur, and people who insist on using it improperly should be held accountable. If you MUST leave a voicemail message, don’t just ask me to call you back or stop by. Give me an idea of what you want to discuss or it is unlikely that you’ll get anything back but an email. For that matter, if you want to talk to me, come by personally or propose a meeting time. Phone tag is annoying enough in my personal life so why do I need it to add to my blood pressure at work? In the time it took you to sit through my ancient voicemail message, wait for the beep, and babble incoherently for 45 seconds, you could’ve sent me a two sentence email with more substance. The point is this: If I work with you on a semi-regular basis, you shouldn’t have to leave me voicemail. The only exceptions should be to distribute important messages to employees in an emergency. I’m fine with receiving that kind of voicemail, but don’t leave a message for me asking me to come to the break room for the monthly birthday cake.

Speaking of food in the workplace, the monthly office birthday cake procedure needs to stop. People are like Pavlov’s dog when it comes to the monthly cake. I’ve worked in organizations that have made sure to leave time in the meeting schedule for the singing of Happy Birthday and the cake distribution process. To be honest, it’s a major productivity killer and the food items chosen for this event do not encourage healthy eating habits. Aside from the socializing and blatant time sink for the people responsible for getting the cake and organizing the event, it is clearly unfair to employees who cannot leave their posts. If you have ever worked in customer service, at a call center, or in technical support, you know what I’m talking about. There is no good way to schedule this event so people are not continually left out, and there is no way an entire office would agree on what kind of treats to order, so kill the ritual. Employees will have the fondest memories of surprise events, for individual or group achievements, or for anything that is merit based. Surprise your employees rather than training to expect cake delivery.

If you are given a communication device, use it to communicate for business or lose it. Blackberries and Smartphones are distributed to employees so that they can securely communicate with employees in and out of the office. Yes you are getting an expensive device paid for by the man, but you should not take advantage of the company or your coworkers with the device. If you are being issued a Blackberry by your employer and you don’t want the responsibility (to answer it after hours or out of the office if necessary or required), talk to your employer before accepting it. If it is a requirement of your job as written into the job description, you shouldn’t be shocked when it’s delivered. If you are on call, you have no right to get cross with coworkers who call you for support while you are out during your on call hours. It is part of what you agreed to do by accepting the device. Turning it off, ignoring it, leaving it in the car, or doing anything to shirk the responsibilities that come with the device should be considered nothing less than sabotage. On the other hand, if an employee does not want the additional responsibility of carrying the device, the employer should not hold it against them by letting them go or cutting their salary. I do, however, believe that it should be equivalent to declining a promotion or additional job duties.

Just because soliciting money at work is tasteless doesn’t mean charitable causes are out. Instead of begging for donations, why not choose a charity that the whole office can support? I’m sure organizations like United Cerebral Palsy would love to have a whole office full of people donating some time to help out at events or at their local center. How about participating in a walkathon for Breast Cancer as a group and sponsoring each other? Just stop shaking a can full of change or peddling your candy bars, Avon, Mary Kay, and Girl Scout cookies.

I agree with all of Penelope’s observations, but I think it’s still a little too lighthearted. There are more serious things going on in the workplace that deserve our attention and need to change. What about Nepotism, Cronyism, and Retribution for reporting issues with coworkers? What about managers protecting their subordinates from being taken advantage of by executives and higher levels of management? What about employees who are given vacation days but are never allowed to take them when they want to? How do we handle employees who avoid putting things in writing so they cannot be held accountable for them? I think that this article merely scratches the surface and I’d hope that the writers of this blog would expand on it.

Tags: Blackberry, cronyism, jobs, nepotism, retribution, voicemail, work, Work Life

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October 31, 2007 | Filed Under Work Life 

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