Step by step… oooh baby.. gonna get to you booooooooy!

Why do friendships and life have to be so complicated? Why can’t you just meet someone and go “you’re cool” and have them go “you’re cool too” and ride off into the sunset happy together as friends or whatever you want it to be? What’s up with all this testing the water and sizing people up down and sideways? I mean sometimes all this work and all of this being finiky pays off and you get a really good and substantial friend out of it… but what is it that makes people feel the need to size you up and test you and poke you and prod you and run around in your head willy nilly. Sometimes I feel like a godforsaken lab rat when I meet new people. I know they’re testing me. I know they’re trying to see what makes me tick. And I know they’re doing it for both their good and my good in the long run but why does it have to happen this way? My best answer is this: People get hurt so much that they have to do anything and everything possible to protect their own interests. I mean I understand why someone would have to size me up and I understand why I do the same but when you really think about it, it wouldn’t be necessary if there weren’t so many bad people out there. What happened to the days where you could hang out with your buddies on the playground during recess and there was no mind gaming and water testing. You wanted to play kickball and so did they and that’s what you did, goddamnit. You didn’t give anyone a battery of mental and emotional tests. You didn’t run a background check or ask that person’s friends what type of person they were before you decided they were a worthy friend. It was just simple. I miss the simplicity of childhood. I miss walking up to some kid you’ve never seen before on the monkey bars and just playing with them. I miss just going to the swing set and pushing some kid and having them push you cause you were both too little to get any serious momentum on the swings by yourselves. I honestly miss those days. Being an adult is complicated. Having adult feelings is complicated. I am not one to avoid complications but it doesn’t mean I like them. I know it will all turn out for the better when all the walking on proverbial eggshells is done, but I miss the days when word was bond. “Yo, You know I’m cool.. and I know you’re cool, so let’s chill.” To be 8 again…. now those WERE the days.

Tags: friends, LiveJournal, Me

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May 26, 2001 | Filed Under Me 

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