Why do friendships and life have to be so complicated? Why can’t you just meet someone and go “you’re cool” and have them go “you’re cool too” and ride off into the sunset happy together as friends or whatever you want it to be? What’s up with all this testing the water and sizing people up down and sideways? I mean sometimes all this work and all of this being finiky pays off and you get a really good and substantial friend out of it… but what is it that makes people feel the need to size you up and test you and poke you and prod you and run around in your head willy nilly. Sometimes I feel like a godforsaken lab rat when I meet new people. I know they’re testing me. I know they’re trying to see what makes me tick. And I know they’re doing it for both their good and my good in the long run but why does it have to happen this way? My best answer is this: People get hurt so much that they have to do anything and everything possible to protect their own interests. I mean I understand why someone would have to size me up and I understand why I do the same but when you really think about it, it wouldn’t be necessary if there weren’t so many bad people out there. What happened to the days where you could hang out with your buddies on the playground during recess and there was no mind gaming and water testing. You wanted to play kickball and so did they and that’s what you did, goddamnit. You didn’t give anyone a battery of mental and emotional tests. You didn’t run a background check or ask that person’s friends what type of person they were before you decided they were a worthy friend. It was just simple. I miss the simplicity of childhood. I miss walking up to some kid you’ve never seen before on the monkey bars and just playing with them. I miss just going to the swing set and pushing some kid and having them push you cause you were both too little to get any serious momentum on the swings by yourselves. I honestly miss those days. Being an adult is complicated. Having adult feelings is complicated. I am not one to avoid complications but it doesn’t mean I like them. I know it will all turn out for the better when all the walking on proverbial eggshells is done, but I miss the days when word was bond. “Yo, You know I’m cool.. and I know you’re cool, so let’s chill.” To be 8 again…. now those WERE the days.

The weather here slays me. Windy, rainy, freezy, sleety, muggy valley. If it were possible i’m sure it’d try to be all of those things at once. Last week it was nice. This week it’ll rain and then mist, and then schpritz, and then be overcast… except of course for the one day it’s damned sunny. I’m sick… how is my body supposed to deal with this? I think I would’ve shaken this cold after 4-5 days if the weather hadn’t decided to do cartwheels… but NOOOOOOOOOO… Elise is on the 10th day of her cold. That’s day 10, folks. I’m sure my allergies have something to do with it too, but c’mon. Mother nature, cut me some damned slack. You can’t even rely on the weather reports cause they change enormously every couple of hours. Fifteen minutes before the sky opens up the weather guys go “OH YEAH… there’s gonna be a monsoon in the next 15-20 mins so you might wanna find that yellow slicker!” GAH! FEH! BAH!

Anyway, a lot of my friends have been MIA lately. Not that I could hang out with them with this blasted cold, but still… WHERE ARE YOU? If they’re smart they’re stocking up on umbrellas. **SIGH** I need for this month to end. MAKE IT END.

When will people learn how to deal with their shit. Oh wait, what planet am I on? People will never learn to deal with their shit. Instead they ball up their frustrations and their pain and their hate and they take it out on other people, consciously and unconsciously. I don’t give a shit what your momma did to you when you were growing up. Don’t take it out on me… blah blah…. People are dumb. My roommate is even dumber. I’ve stopped worrying though. Karma is a bitch and when it bites… it bites hard. Sometimes it forgets to let go… like a pitbull. One way or another, someday in life… he’ll get his.

Anyway, I’m going to the carnival today. YAY. Love me.

Getting sick in the spring and summer SUCKS. Having no voice when you work in a position where your paid to talk SUCKS. Being so sick you really miss Mommy and Daddy SUCKS THE WORST. I feel like a pile of organic waste right now. BLAH! Someone come take care of me and bring me soup! *sniffle*

Ok there are very few things on earth that rock more than eye-scream from Meyer’s Dairy. Not only is it fresh, but it’s hella good and it’s cheap as fucking dirt cause the locals don’t know how to price things. Yesterday Danny (Christopher Robin), Trish and I went to get some of this food of the gods and we frolicked in the grass on the hill behind the Dairy store. It was fun. Trish likes to frolick. Danny likes to tell awesome stories. I like to play with Danny’s hair. He really does look like Christopher Robin. I know you don’t believe me but it’s true. He’s like a life sized animated Christopher Robin in 3D and living color. **scary**

Anyway now I am gonna get ready and go babysit little Kaitlyn till the festivities begin. She’s a tall baby with shortish parents. I’m confused. So are they. **blink** Anyway, I’m sure Chester will drool on me. That will be exciting. **not** Ok I’ll be black later.

My cat has decided to be my personal alarm clock. I had to work at 8:30am the past two days so I was getting up at 7am to get ready. Today I don’t have to be up for HOURS but my cat… old reliable… has decided that mommy should be up at a little before 7am this morning because he says so. After knocking on my door for the past 30 minutes on and off and me screaming “Tiggy, NO!” in my state of partial coma, I finally gave up and went out there to have a ‘talk’ with him. Let’s face it, he’s an intelligent animal (too intelligent for his own good, and perhaps more intelligent than my roommate and a few other choice quasi-human specimens I work with), *AND* he knows my patterns. He used to try to wake me up for my 8am class every M/W/F a couple of semesters ago. He tried his best but his efforts only got me out of bed a handful of times. The rest of the times I actually went I had a test or something due. Damn cats for being so intelligent.

So.. I’ve been here (at work since 8:30am) and I have managed to maintain some level of sanity. I’ve managed to learn a little more php and pretty soon I might be able to call myself a web c0der. Or maybe not. I’m also working a little bit on the old pagey page. I think it might turn out to be an okay webfront for me. The eggcitement.

Anyway, people are dumb. Since when did coming to work smelling like beer become excusable? The American work ethic just amazes me. I’ve never been so glad to quasi-be-Jamaican. *sigh*

I am going to abduct Danny. He looks like Christopher Robin and that’s wondermous. I proposed marriage. He said yes. We’re going to pick out the Chyna pattern and register at Target (Tar-zhay). It’s gonna be a small wedding though. Benjy can be a flower child.

Ok you know I’ve been in one place too long when I just babble into a textbox. *sigh* Bye or something.

It’s so weird to all of a sudden have nothing to do but work. I am delighted that I don’t have to worry about school right now but mother of christ I don’t know what to do with myself?! I think I am going to have to find some new hobbies or I’ll go insane.

Everyone who’s online needs to browse the web. Everyone needs to pick a browser. I know I am going to burn in hell or conceivably get shot for saying this but Netscape is the most horrible excuse for a browser I have ever worked with in my life. Not that Internet Explorer is perfect, but it is hands down the cleaner browser right now. If you’re looking at this journal right now and it looks like it’s embedded in my homepage, you’re most likely using some flavor of Internet Explorer which is HTML 4.0 compliant (this is an iframe). If it made you click on a lamer link to open it in a new browser window, you are MOST LIKELY using Nutscrape. I don’t care if the Linux users string me up for saying this: “Internet Explorer is the better browser.” Regardless of its evil factor.

DREAMER
(Submissive Introvert Abstract Feeler )

Elise
Like just 12% of the population you are a DREAMER (SIAF)–reserved and imaginative. You are basically the shy, silent type. You don’t have much interest in facts and figures or most of what’s going on around you, but the internal worlds you build for yourself are rich and complex.

Luckily, your creativity and strong heart mean you have a deep personality evident to anyone who gets to know you. It’s just that not many people do, because most everyone thinks you’re a loser. Talk to yourself less, other people more, little shaver.